krystal (20, usa) vegan. snsd, girl group, & yifan stan.— "There are a hundred trillion cells in the human body, and every single one of the cells of my body loves you."

Happy  Birthday  to  our  lovely  leader  Kris!~ 

It feels like it was just yesterday when I stumbled upon that video of Kris and Tao crossing the street. It’s been nearly 2 years since then but I can very clearly remember my exact emotions, the exact thoughts that were flying through my mind the first time I saw him, I thought he was the most beautiful human being I had ever seen. There was something so captivating about his dark eyes and solemn expression, and it pulled me in. I didn’t even matter that he didn’t have a name yet, or that he wasn’t even a confirmed member of the group, I was enamored with him, and so it began lol. A little over a month later and his teaser came out, in which he was unearthly with his cold and calculating gaze (and strong eyebrows hehe), clad all in white like the ethereal creature he is. When MAMA finally premiered, there was no turning back lol I was already falling, hard. I had no idea that he would become such an important part of my life, but I am so glad he did ugh.  I’ve written countless essays and posts explaining why I love Kris and why he means so much to me, but I never get tired of talking about it, I never get tired of talking about Kris because he’s such a remarkable human being, and I want everyone in the world to see that.

Kris, you’ve grown so much over this past year. When we first started on this incredible journey with you, you were shy and apprehensive at first. You hid your smiles, you always kept your composure, you held a sense of professionalism everywhere you went and you never let your guard down, not to mention you were easily embarrassed and afraid of ruining your serious mature leader image lol and we loved that about you. During this past year though, you’ve been the smiliest, giggliest, dorkiest, most playful, awkward, embarrassing, hilarious cutie pie we’ve ever seen. You’ve opened up and let us see those different sides of you lol. You’re not afraid to be a weird dork, or make fun of yourself, or be sarcastic and witty. You’re becoming more comfortable with yourself, and with us, and it’s so exciting to see. You’ve learned to not take yourself so seriously, even playfully poking fun at yourself from time to time (Kriscasso anyone? Lol). You keep us on our toes, you keep us guessing, we never know what you’re going to say or do next, and that makes you so much fun. We love that you’re always the one keeping track during interviews, knowing the right things to say always being eloquent with your words, making your determination to be a good strong leader for the group clear, and that hasn’t changed, and it probably never will. You’ve also become more confident in yourself, more sure of your abilities. With your guys’ first full album being released this past year, everyone couldn’t help but notice how many singing lines you received in the songs! And dear god are you a lovely singer. I think we all pretty much agreed that your voice is unique and lovely and we all had a sudden craving to hear more of you sing, because you’re amazing! We all felt so proud hearing the album, knowing how hard you must have worked to prove yourself capable. I know you’ve said in magazine interviews that the worst feeling you’ve had is feeling useless and being told that you’re useless but Kris, you have to know that you’re so far from that. You are amazing at everything you do, whether you’re leading your group, MCing an event, being interviewed, or performing on stage, it is clear how hard you’re working and how driven you are to succeed. You’re a fiercely dedicated leader and a passionate artist, and that is admirable. You give everything you’re assigned to do your all, whether it’s having the confidence to sing more lines in the albums, or demonstrating your acting abilities for the Drama Ver. Music video, and I love that about you. I never want you to doubt yourself Kris, or to ever feel like you’re useless to because you are so needed Kris, the group would not be the same without you, the world would not be the same without you, and I would not be the same without you. You have made life infinitely more beautiful for so many people, including me, and we owe so much to you.

What we all admire most about you Kris is your compassion for others, especially your fans. Over this past year, we’ve all witnessed what an amazingly warm and loving person you are, how patient and kind you strive to be. You’ve gotten quite a reputation for being one of the kindest, friendliest, most appreciative idols in the industry. You have not once ever shown arrogance around fans, you’ve never avoided them, expressed annoyance or discomfort even when it may have been warranted, you’ve never stopped showing them you care. You’ve never let us down. It’s clear you’ve made your fans your main priority, and I admire you so much for that. It makes me so incredibly honored and proud to be your fan. When you’re at the airport, even for personal reasons, and the fans follow you around, I think “wow a normal person would be so aggravated to be harassed like that!,” but then I see you smiling and laughing and joking and being as friendly and polite as can be, and I realize then…you are far from ordinary. You’re special, so so sooooooo special. You’re one of a kind, Kris. You have a pure heart, and a loving soul, and that makes you special. You’ll stop and take pictures with fans when you’re on your private vacation, you’ll buy extra luggage just to carry the fan’s gifts, you’ll go down on your knees to be closer and less intimidating at eyelevel with children, you call you fans “angels” and “goddesses,” you write meaningful messages to your “my every you” at any opportunity you can, you do everything you possibly can to show us just how much you care, and even then you don’t feel like you’re doing enough (“What I can do for you is limited, yet you’ve done so much for me. That’s why, if you can, please allow me to do what I can, to continue bringing you joy and happiness within this limited time of mine” -Kris). You’ve worked so incredibly hard to build up this solid trusting relationship with your fans, because to us we’re more than that. We’re your friends, your constant supports, always looking out for you.

You’re just so selfless a person, you’re always putting others before yourself, whether it’s your fans, or your members, you never worry about yourself. You worry about everyone else. It doesn’t matter if you’re tired or uncomfortable with a situation; you always put everyone else’s needs above your own. You worry about our happiness and our safety above your own, and I think that’s unbelievably admirable of you. I didn’t realize people like that still existed in this world Kris. I can’t even count how many fanaccounts I’ve read expressing how kind and angelic you are. I even got to witness your kindness firsthand at Kcon this year. I saw you Kris making a genuine effort to smile and wave and give eye contact to everyone you could, knowing that our time with you was rare and short, knowing that us international fans don’t get to see you guys very often, you smiled so heartwarmingly at everyone, including me at one point and I nearly died (lol). But just seeing you being playful and enthusiastic and smiling that gorgeous gummy smile of yours every few seconds was the most amazing thing ever, and it made me love you infinitely more. I could actually feel your appreciation and adoration, radiating from each smile and each wave. How can you have such a big heart? ;_;

I know that your life must not be easy. You’ve mentioned in interviews that your dream is to be “free” and the idea that at times you must feel suffocated in this lifestyle, constantly being watched, unable to live a normal life, but you’ve never once shown regret or been unappreciative of where you are. You’ve only ever expressed sincere gratitude and humility. You’ve written countless messages to your “My every you” expressing how much you cherish them, how much they mean to you, how happy they make you, how much drive they give you, because you feel like you owe us for that, for all that we do for you. But Kris, your smile, your grace, your warmth, your humility, your gratitude, your selflessness, your sense of humor, and your entire existence is more than enough for us. Just knowing that you’re alive and well is all the thanks we need, it’s all the thanks I need. I know there have been times when you’ve felt lonely and lost, you’ve mentioned before that the trainee period was especially difficult for you because you were living so far away from your family, but I hope that all the love you are receiving from us and from your members is helping to ease some of that loneliness. I’m sure you’ve had to overcome many difficult obstacles in your life, some of which I’m sure made you feel like giving up, but you didn’t Kris. You overcame everything and now here you are, accomplishing what I hope are your dreams, or at least the first steps to accomplishing your dreams. You’ve made a name for yourself, for your group, and you’re making a difference in people’s lives. You’ve sure made one in mine. I am so incredibly thankful to have you in my life Kris. You brought with you a network of stars and galaxies into my dark solemn night sky. You illuminated my universe, and changed everything and I can’t even begin to explain just how much you mean to me, or how much I love you. I have said this about a million times it seems lol but if I could compare it to something, it’s as if I had been seeing the world in black in white this entire time, there were flashes of color every now and again, but nothing ever lasted long enough to make a difference, until you came along, with your gummy smile and your compassionate heart, your genuineness, your selflessness, your laugh and your dorky sense of humor, your love for fashion, your awkwardness, your wonderful artistic talents, your everything, and there was color in my world again. The cobwebs on my heart were swept away basically lol. You’ve made me just happy to be alive. You’ve inspired me to work hard in life, and to always be humble, and show appreciation for those around me who have helped me to get where I am in life, just as you do. I want to be patient and composed like you, I want to be able to keep my calm even when there’s chaos all around me. I want to be someone people can lean on, I want to be strong and determined and focused, just as you are. You inspire me to be a better version of myself; you make me want to reflect on my own life and my own choices. I want to be able to say a few years from now that because of kpop, and because of you, I was able to accomplish my dreams, because you gave me the confidence and the courage to do so. I know that would make you proud. You’ve mentioned before in a CeCi interview that you would want to tell all your fans that you hope “they won’t forget that they’re living for the people who love them,” that “life is a happy thing,” I think you say that because you worry that our strong dedication to EXO is hindering our personal lives, and getting in the way of our schooling and of our goals and such, but you don’t have to worry about me Kris. If anything, you’ve made me want to work even harder in life! I promise I will take your words to heart and always life for those that love me, and to appreciate what life has to offer. You hold a lot of wisdom in your heart, and I find that so fascinating, ugh I just love everything that comprises your entire being. You truly are the most beautiful human being I’ve ever known, both inside and out, and I love you endlessly.

You’re on the other side of the world, but I find happiness in knowing that wherever you are, you’re having fun and you’re making good memories. I hope the guys are spoiling you, and treating you like a king lol at least for today! And I hope that you’ve been eating lots of delicious food, and getting plenty of sleep because I know how much you love it. I hope you’re having the time of your life, because you’re young and you have your whole life ahead of you. If I could, I would package all my love for you and send it your way in hopes of making you smile lol. If I could give you the world, I would, because you deserve it, you deserve everything. In my last birthday message for you I wrote that “my hope for you is for you to always be happy, for you to find happiness in everyday of your life, for you to always find a reason to smile, a reason to hope, for you to never feel alone or worthless, to always have ambition and passion, and for you to find the joy that you have brought me,” and this hope of mine will never change.  2, 5, 10, 20, or however many years may pass, no matter where I am in life or where you are in life, whether you’re in EXO, a huge Hollywood star, a superstar basketball player, a world renowned fashion designer, the next Picasso (lol), etc., I’m always going to hope that you’re happy, totally and completely happy, because of how happy you’ve made me, and I’m sure thousands of others as well. You opened up my heart in a time in my life when I thought that was impossible, when I felt empty and alone.  You gave me the strength and the courage to love, and to live, and I owe you so much for that.

I hope you have an amazing birthday today, and every year of your life. I will continue to support you from where I am, always hoping that you’re happy and healthy in everyday of your life. I hope that you never feel unloved because you should know how loved you are. There are thousands and thousands of people out there thinking of you, wishing you happiness and supporting you in all that you do. We your fans will always be here for you whenever you need us, to support you, to defend you, to make you smile, and to make you happy. My hope is that this love and support you receive will never go away, that you’ll always have an endlessly supply of love of happiness sent your way, and that it will swell up inside you until your very last day. It’s just as you said Kris, “Never abandoning each other, we are mutually dependent, agreeing that even if we don’t see each other we will not leave, every minute and every second waiting for you until you’re old,” we’ll always be by your side. So, happy birthday Kris and in your words, “Be happy always.”